Treat Me Right

Welcome back. It has been a tough journey, but here we are persevering the best way we can in 2021.

A few weeks ago, I watched Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom on Netflix, as millions of us have. It is an engaging and thought-provoking story that speaks on race, religion, the wealth gap, and the historic exploitation of black recording artists by white record executives. I’ve been a huge fan of August Wilson since reading his play, Fences at the age of nine- and re-reading it more than six times since then. If you haven’t read The Coldest Day of the Year or Two Trains Running, please stop reading this, type both titles (actually every piece of work he’s written) into Google, and pour over these amazing written works of art- then come back. There’s no question that August Wilson truly was the theater’s “poet of Black America,” but I digress.

There’s a dialogue in the second act/part of the movie from Ma Rainey, played by the marvelous, award-winning Viola Davis, to the leader of the band who is also the guitar and trombone player, Cutler, played by the award-winning actor Coleman Domingo (side note- he’s one of my favorite actors, have you caught up on the latest season of Euphoria?). You learn insight into how her record company views her and why she speaks to the executives any way she wants. “All they want is my voice. Well. I done learned that, and they gonna treat me like I want to be treated no matter how much it hurt them. They back there now calling me all kinds of names…calling me everything but a child of God. But they can’t do nothing else. They ain’t go what they wanted yet. As soon as they get my voice down on them recording machines, then it’s just like I’d be some whore, and they roll over and put their pants on. Ain’t got no use for me then.” The way Viola Davis delivers these lines hit me like a brick. So many individuals have had their talent and creativity drained from them by their jobs as if they are giving blood- myself included. Over the past couple of years, I took the time to learn that it has been my fault for not setting boundaries of what or how much a company or individuals can take from me- the word no is easier for some than others. So like Ma Rainey (minus a few explicative words), I too have clapped back to those who try to see how much they can stretch my capabilities. You’re smart, so I know you already know that whomever you work with/for, they need you just as much, if not more than you need them. If they didn’t need you, they wouldn’t have hired you for your skillset. Sure they can bring on someone else, but they want you, so teach them how you want to be treated. Of course, you want the agreed-upon work to be precise and complete on time, but don’t work to the point of exhaustion, don’t allow delayed payments of an invoice or paycheck, and don’t tolerate disrespect from anyone in any form.

I hope we all continue to build up our inner strength and loudly speak up for ourselves the way Ma Rainey did.

The original Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom Playbill from 1984.

What's Feeding You?

It’s important that we watch and see things in life that will impact our spirit on an elevated level. It’s true that what you see and listen to impact our psyche. But we all have our guilty pleasures right? Don’t judge me, I watch a few of The Real Housewives branches and laugh at the buffoonery of these women and men doing obscene things and acting ridiculous. Yes, I can do better by not watching it and there’s no “ifs, ands, or buts” about it- no excuses, just facts. I also read a really good (to me) book every two weeks, watch documentaries, comedies, news, etc. (ya’ll don’t need to know my TV history list, but you get it). It’s a balance that I’m working on.

The reason I'm bringing up this topic of visual and audible stimulation is, the other day I was on the subway (in NYC) around 8:30 am. It was crowded as per usual at that time, but not overly so. Across from me sat a man with a large baby stroller- which held an infant girl inside, a woman (I’ll call her woman #1) and an appx. 7 year old boy were next to him. They seemed to be an average family going about their day. The subway decided to go “morning express”- meaning it skips 8 stops in between the next major one. I personally loved this and did a little shimmy in my seat, but the family across from me were unprepared for the switch up. They rushed off the train not looking or excusing themselves to any one in their path from the seat to the door. Another woman (I’ll call her woman # 2) who was standing by the door, was almost knocked to her feet- thankfully someone caught her before that happened. I found out later that she had the volume in her headphones turned up loud and didn’t hear anything. Unfortunately the train was being held at the station for a few moments, and the doors were still open. Woman #2 decided to scream and curse loudly at the couple, who were now on the platform getting themselves together. Woman #1 shouted back and they had a huge shouting match (basic angry playground language), until the man from the couple stepped in. He got in woman #2’s face and threatened to beat her down; drag her out of the subway and screamed racial slurs at her. Woman #2 screamed back to him that she would get her brothers to fight him; how dare he threaten her; he’s disgusting; etc., etc. By this time, an older gentleman stepped in front of woman #2 to protect her, because the other man was really close to her face. Mind you woman #1 wasn’t trying to calm the situation down. She was letting the cookies crumble where they may. And boy did those cookies crumble. Their shouting match further escalated to the point that when the older gentleman was trying to move woman #2 further into the train so that she would be safe, the man SPIT on woman #2…yes ladies and gents…SPIT. The older gentleman turns and tells the man about himself and how disrespectful the whole display between them was. He also let him know that he should be ashamed to even get so worked up that his ego had to show off in that way in front of his woman and his young children. The older gentleman turned to woman #2 and told her about her actions as well, and how horrible her words were to woman #1 and the man. Woman #1 finally stepped up and took the man’s arm and told him “let’s just go”, as if a lightbulb in her head went off that their conduct was disgusting. During this entire display of anger and misplaced energy, the infant girl was screaming her head off and the 7 year old boy was staring dumbfounded at his parents and woman #2. By God’s grace the subway doors closed moments after the older gentleman was speaking to woman #2. The ride then went on as if the past 8 minutes never happened, but what I saw stayed with me for most of that day. I couldn’t shake how something that could have been easily resolved by saying “excuse me, I’m sorry.” from woman #1 to woman #2, intensified into a screaming battle from all three people and a gross saliva throw onto woman #2. I tried to put myself in that little 7 year old boy’s place, seeing his parents act so audaciously and disgusting, hearing the words that were said from all parties. These are the things that are shaping his mind. They were showing him an example of how they feel is a proper reaction to this sort of situation. I then thought of what else this little boy has seen and heard from his parents and the adults they surround themselves with. He will forever be impacted by that moment and obviously I don’t know for sure, but I bet he did not bring it up and ask questions about it after.

I’m not here to pass judgment on any one, but I am here to urge us all to do and be better than we were yesterday. You are what you eat and you also are what you watch and listen to. With that said I’d like to ask what have you seen and heard that has impacted you both in either a good and bad way? Who are you surrounded by? What are you turning your screens on to? What’s in your coming up and recently played list on your streaming services (Netflix, YouTube, Spotify, Hulu, Apple TV, Amazon, etc.)? I’d love to know and if there’s anything that makes you uncomfortable to share, I’d be interested to know why.

We’re surrounded by visual and audible stimuli, how is that feeding our minds?