The art of listening is work. It needs to be nurtured and honed by the people engaging in the activity. At times we all have not given our full attention to those we have conversations with, whether it be a family member, friend, co-worker, your mail person, etc. For me, this is something I’ve had to consciously work on for years and still it’s a work in progress, not because I don’t care what’s coming out of the mouth of whom is in conversation with me, but because my mind is busy. I can be in the middle of conversing with someone and have 20 other thoughts in the midst of it. Some of it is nonsense like, “do I need to get more apples from the store?” or it could be a worthwhile thought “(insert friend name) is really good at design, maybe xyz can use their services to work on their website layout.” Honestly random thoughts pop in and out and I have a hard time just kicking them away, but like I said it’s a work in progress and I’ve gotten much better- yoga and meditation are constants.

One thing I can say for myself is that I do not “fake listen” aka saying “mmm” or “ok, wow” to someone while they are speaking just to pretend I’m all there. Ok ok, I’ve done it a few times, only because I wasn’t a fan of the person talking. But overall it’s not good to do this. Neither is a person asking you a question and then answering it for you before you open your mouth. For instance “Hey, how’s it going, good?”, mind you the other person didn’t even have the opportunity to answer and now may feel obliged to agree it’s going good when it actually may not be how they feel- give them a beat. We must be patient enough to wait a few seconds for the other person to answer because if you don’t it comes off as if you don’t care or have the capacity to listen to their response- since you already answered it for them.

So, as we are in the early days of 2019, let’s retire “fake listening” and “automated responses” and work on being more present in the present. Put your phone down, look into the persons eyes or face (if you have a hard time with eye contact), stop scrolling if it’s a phone conversation and be conscious of the thoughts that come into your mind. Don’t get angry at these thoughts, just kindly push them aside for the moment. There are many aspects of ourselves that will be in workshop for the rest of our lives, the least we can do is take each opportunity given to be better than the last. In what ways will you be practicing active listening? Also, what are some of the thoughts that pop into your head? Share and let’s discuss, I promise I’ll be in the moment of listening.

Enough said...

Alrighty folks, we’re going to get right to it and make this short and sweet. Let’s talk about the years 1981-1996 aka the millennial years. As an older member of the millennial generation, born proudly in 1984, I am able to say that I have had enough of the millennial shaming from anyone born prior to those years. Let’s all understand that there are degrees to millennial’s, we do not all think the same, we do not all have the same experiences or entitlement. So why do generations from the baby boomers (1946-1964) all the way through to generation X (1965-1981) continuously call out millennial’s for being lazy, entitled, narcissistic and at times know-it-all’s when it was generations before that set the stage for the present? As I stated above you cannot group everyone together, I don’t. I personally believe the older millennial’s not only approach life differently than the younger millennial’s but also work in a distinct manner. This may be due to a lot of factors, one being that 1981-1985 is closer to the generation x group and therefore are influenced to a higher degree from them or it could just be they think with both sides. It’s all subjective. One thing is for sure, millennial’s are continuously being dragged through the trenches.

Thanks to the generations prior, millennial’s are so far the largest, best educated and most diverse generation in history. This means nothing as with almost every generation, there is a hefty unemployment rate and according to the US census data 40% of millennial’s are at the highest level. Hence why millennial’s have had to start their own businesses and figure out other sources of income that are not corporate based. Which of course brings on high risk of stress and anxiety soaring to an all time high for this bracket that occurs in one of five individuals. Millennial’s are also swimming in college debt and earning degrees that they do not use (meaning they got them only because of pressure from their families or they can’t find a job with the degree they earned or something inbetween). Millennial’s aren’t entitled to success, they are obsessed with it, because there is no other choice, how else is survival in this world supposed to happen? Being tired of talking or hearing about how to make it and taking a stance on actually making it to a point in life where it feels good just to be here and enjoy what was worked for. So millennial’s aren’t lazy, they are more driven than generations prior due to the circumstances within their individual lives. Millennial’s have not only created opportunities for all generations within housing, technology, health, fashion, food, music, media and creative spaces, but they have helped evolve what was handed down to them.

Not every millennial is fixated on sharing with the world their latest sneakers, nonstop play by play of their days, hair color or showing of their bodies on social media. Yes, it is absolutely annoying and I try my best not to judge, but it does get hard when it’s overdone. But it’s just as aggravating when prior generations are oversharing pics of their grandchildren, or the latest tomatoes that are blooming in their gardens or pics of paint colors in their homes. You see either way we are all annoyed with each other for things that are out of our individual control. No generation is better in any sense than the other. Each generation prior to and after millennial’s have their faults, so let’s stop acting as if millennial’s are the downfall of all humanity. If you have an issue with an entire group of people within a 15 year bracket, then you are part of the problem. I could go on endlessly on this issue, as I feel as if I discuss it daily with my family and friends, but I’m a short story writer…not a novelist.

Let’s discuss further. I’d love to hear what you all have to say on this matter.

Millennial’s help to figure out a balance in how life should move forward. Let’s not judge, but discuss.