I've been working around young women in their early to mid-twenties the past few months. Many of them just graduated from college and/or still lived with their parents who made their lunches- side note: mom, I know you're in Florida, but I would love for you to send several vegetarian/vegan meals for my lunches so I wouldn't have to take the time- thanks in advance. Most of our conversations involved pop culture, music and of course fashion- basically a one sheet of topics. I enjoyed being around them, all of the young ladies have amazing personalities. One day a conversation about previous job experiences led to discussing age. After they spoke about their first jobs (for some they were at it) when the question came to me, I let them know mine was many years ago. They were shocked, thinking I may have been referring to an internship, but I wasn't. They proceeded to ask how old I was, so I said in my 30's and their jaws dropped. Out of their disbelief, they told me there's no way I could be "that old", they assumed I was around their age- but you know what they say about assuming right? I didn't understand why they couldn't grasp their mind around it...I didn't say mid 50's. But I get it, one of my nephews who is 4, thinks I'm ancient and when I was in my early 20's anyone above 30 was old to me as well. I mean what could I respond back with other than, "black don't crack, it's the melanin baby"! I proceeded to tell them that I take care of my skin, I'm conscious of the food I eat, I don't smoke cigarettes, I workout, pray and meditate not much more to it than that.

It's interesting when people can't place you in a box they become overzealous with trying to figure out why. There's no mystery, we can be different and it's okay to accept it and leave it. The age talks started to become obsessive. I essentially wanted to take a page out of my friends Weeza and Rashawn's books and speak around it or channel my inner Aaliyah and say "Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number". I was even called a vampire...a VAMPIRE! I love vampire movies so, actually being called one by a girl was funny, I wasn't even slightly offended. I told myself I'll be the fiercest vampire since Angela Bassett in "A Vampire in Brooklyn"- because who wouldn't? Age has not ever played a factor in my life and I don't see it becoming one. I hope you all feel that way too. Don't ever let the opinions of others make you feel awkward, it's their hang-up, not yours. So I say, be you, be true and vamp on!

This was Angela Bassett in, "A Vampire in Brooklyn", the movie came out in 1995. Look at a picture of her now and she looks exactly the same! Flawless.

My parents use to host spades games at our house with a couple family members when I was younger. Of course being the nosiest of the three children, I had to be all in the mix with the adults, so I asserted myself into their games. Someone (not sure who) said I could keep score instead of hawking in the doorway. I asked lots of questions to everyone’s dismay and learned to be the best score keeper in upstate New York (self-given title). I truly wanted to learn how to play spades. But sadly, what was told to me through clenched teeth and grunts didn’t stick and I did not learn.

Fast forward to every family gathering I have been to since childhood and still no one can be bothered to teach me, why is it that you are banned to the abyss if you don’t know how to play spades? I get that supposedly it’s “ingrained” within African American culture, but those genes skipped me and now I can’t even walk over to a card table without my anxiety reaching an all time high. I remember once in my early teen years I approached a group of my older uncles and aunts at a family reunion as they were picking teams to play and they were excited at first to have me, but once I told them I needed a little help the pitch of their laughter would’ve made the hair on your ears stand at attention. So I shrugged my shoulders and more than likely stole a wine cooler from the “adult drink bin” as I went off.

Spades is sneaky and more of a fighting game than a card game; people lose friendships, contact with family members and sometimes teeth if it gets physical. That never happens with games such as Pac Man, the infamous card game,“I Declare War” or Monopoly- well maybe with Monopoly. Let’s just say the next gathering where everyone wants to play spades, I’ll be suggesting Family Feud and if they mess up...well the name of the game speaks for itself, so there will be no surprises.

Have any of you experienced something like this? Also, if you have any tips for how to play spades, leave that in the comments too, clearly I need all the help I can get.