Opposite of Life

I’ve been surrounded by death lately, by way of my friends and an acquaintance from unfortunate passings of their loved ones. I’m heartbroken for them and as an empath, I can become enveloped in their grief. I consider myself extremely optimistic, but I haven’t been able to find that outlook through this, so it’s become an internal struggle. The blanket statement, “at least they are not suffering anymore”, doesn’t seem to absorb the emotion, so I don't say it. Although their loved ones are in a spiritually peaceful place, they are still here on earth living through heartache every day.

I was speaking to my friend, Latasha, about a situation and telling her I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. I want to do more than pray for and over them, more than call, more than letting them know I’ll be there if they need. I want to take their pain away. In times such as these, I always just want to do more. Latasha assured me what I subconsciously knew, which was my prayers and support is all they need. She is right, the people that know me and know my heart understand that I want to do more for them, but being still and praying is enough. Right now, they are doing the best they can day by day to work through their emotions. It’s already understood that I’ll be there for them in whatever capacity they need if they just say the words.

Prayer to me is the biggest action there is, so I will continue without ceasing. To my friends who have lost someone recently I've said this to each of you individually but please know that I love you, I’m here to be present when you need and I can tell numerous corny jokes to at least put a smile on your face for a moment. To anyone else dealing with any type of suffering right now, I'm praying for the metamorphosis into your true healing.

Silence

I grew up loving noise. I appreciated the fact that I could block people out with music, books, tv and most of all with my thoughts. I have a gift of being able to think several full complex thoughts and scenarios out at once while someone is talking to me and still be able to comprehend what they are saying. I have the capability to be physically present even when I’m not mentally or spiritually and to snap back into the right moment fully aware of what they are speaking of. Some might not call it a gift and that’s okay because it’s not meant for you.  My brain is creative and unique and that’s just what it does. As I mentioned earlier this year in the story “Active Listening”, I’m getting better at just that.

I was speaking to a friend recently about being comfortable in the uncomfortable moments of life and how everyone deals with this same issue. Someone is always asking another, “How do you get through it?” Well, I wish I had a universal answer that would solve this hurdle for everyone, but I don’t and there’s no one on earth who does. If they say they do, they are lying. We all work through things differently and that’s what makes us like snowflakes, no two are alike.

I’ve been working on sitting in the silence and feeling my way through why I have always thought it awkward and uncomfortable. The conclusion is inconclusive because I am still under construction in this area. I can share that now I’m able to quiet my mind for seven whole minutes without stirring. That might sound minuscule, but when your mind is constantly churning and you average three to four solid sleep hours a night without waking up, it’s a huge accomplishment. And this is just the beginning.

I hope that whatever hurdles you are working to jump over in your daily lives, that you take it one step at a time and not compare your journey with anyone else’s. It’s okay to be uncomfortable as long as you’re finding a healthy way to break through it. Embrace the silence. In this crazy world, we all could use a break from the noise.

Finding silence through the noise.