Friendsgiving

This past Saturday, one of my best friends, Rashawn and I held our 5th Annual Friendsgiving in her home. We initially started to throw Friendsgiving dinners because we would be home during Thanksgiving time, either due to tickets being too expensive to visit family out of state or just our daily life schedules. Friendsgiving to us represents a community of close friends all celebrating each other, being thankful we all have one another and focusing on the joy that life is no matter your situation. Our first one, was smaller in numbers because people were going away that year, but what it lacked in numbers it made up for in the great time that was had. When we look back it was the perfect size. The following year it got insane. friends that didn't make it the previous year, ALL made a point to come that year and they invited people. Rashawn has a big apartment but the overflow was leaking into all the bedrooms, hallways, even out the door. It was definitely a turn up, but it needed to be turned down. It got to a point that there were people no one knew coming in and thus getting away from what Friendsgiving was about.  From then on we learned to say "invite only" on the evites aka don't bring other people unless you ask first.

Oftentimes Friendsgiving acts as the one time of year most of us will have the opportunity to see each other, so everyone makes that time count. The abundance of food and drinks can make you gluttonous. Everyone brings something whether it be a dish, liquor or something to serve the food on. No one goes hungry and in some cases people don't leave without taking leftovers home.

The past few years, Rashawn set up a photo booth area in one of her rooms. I call that room, the locker room, since she has a full set of red lockers in that room she uses for storage, it's pretty dope. Anyway, no matter the gathering people will flock to the locker room which also has couches and chairs. This year she created an Instagram page for the occasion and everyone that took pics in the photo booth, which she made using her iPad and a downloadable app, were able to upload the pics directly to the page. Therefore cancelling out everyone asking for the pics and video taken post Friendsgiving. Who doesn't love a group photo and taking fun videos with friends? Imagine doing this mixed with full stomachs and drinks in hand? What do you end up with? Hilarious buffoonery that's what! We all know the size of a regular iPad screen, so 8-10 people running in the room and trying to fit was not happening. It was tried nonetheless, even if someone only got their forehead in. My friend Sansarae was basically Beyonce in one of the videos and everyone else were the back up. Orande, Rashawn and Greg have a video where they are all doing the Milly Wop, that video left me laughing to tears and there's also a video of me thinking we're all taking a photo, until Rashawn tells me it's a video. I'm posing for a good 8 seconds until it's realized, it 's ridiculous and funny at the same time. There's way too many to recap, but you get it, it was fun.

Throughout the times at Friendsgiving  I always realize how beautiful it is that we can all gather to just have a good time, great vibes with delicious food (Orande makes mac and cheese that people go savage for and same goes for Denise's banana pudding. If your not quick then you'll miss out). It's so easy to get flustered through life, but if you can have only one moment in a year with close friends, let it be a gathering such as this, it helps in saying hakuna matata much easier as you go throughout your days.

If you don't know this scene then do yourself a favor and watch the Lion King. Hakuna Matata! P.S. I also saw The Lion King on Broadway last week and it was incredible!

If you don't know this scene then do yourself a favor and watch the Lion King. Hakuna Matata! P.S. I also saw The Lion King on Broadway last week and it was incredible!

Heavy

Have any of you watched "13 Reasons Why" on Netflix? I'm sure a lot of you have.  It's a really telling story on how school bullying can turn into death by suicide. 

I can't speak from a space of knowing how it feels to know someone who has committed suicide, but I do know how it feels to be bullied and deal with heavy thoughts. Everyone probably has been bullied in their lives in some form or another. For me it took place from childhood to young adulthood in different stages and scopes.  When I was younger I was bullied for being overweight by kids in school and out of school. Kids laughed at me, made eating noises, wouldn't want to hang out with me in after school programs or summer camp. Adults were just as cruel and insulting when it came to my weight as well, they laughed and made jokes. During high school, I was told by my school counselor I wouldn't amount to much in life and certainly was not good enough to get into college, mind you I was the only black female in my graduating class.  A colleague once told me that people like me (young, black and tattooed) wouldn't be in high positions of a career, I became her boss soon after that comment.  I'm happy to say that I did not allow their words or actions to define me as a person.

Sometimes you don't want to talk out your emotions, you want to act out. Being the bully was not ever an avenue I wanted to take or I suggest to anyone else. I always wrote down my feelings and issues, this helped me see how the people being the bullies actually feel or felt about themselves. There weren't a lot of people I confided in about those things at the time because I thought no one would want to listen me. That wasn't true and I encourage everyone to talk to someone, cry to someone, write down your experiences, pray. Whatever is therapeutic to you and what will help. Whether it be from a family member, school mates, teachers, co-workers, whomever do not tolerate it.

You have to be the one to encourage yourself first. In the famous words of Eleanor Roosevelt "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission". I personally believe in this statement because, as hard as it may be, don't give your power of self to any one. Love yourself for all your weirdness and beautiful nature, because you are outstanding. Life will never be perfect, but while you have life, surround yourself with people who are true and encouraging. Trials and tribulations are everywhere we look, so take the lifelong journey to get to a good place within yourself.  Bullying and suicide are heavy issues to deal with, that in my opinion are just getting to the surface of the media within the past decade or so.  If you are being bullied, depressed and/or dealing with suicidal thoughts or know someone who is, I beg of you to please go to one of the following sites:

https://afsp.org/

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

 http://www.stompoutbullying.org/information-and-resources/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied

http://www.pacer.org/bullying/

 https://www.stopbullying.gov/

If you know of any more sites or numbers where people can get the help needed, please list below in the comments and share. All of the above are my personal thoughts, they do not reflect the pain or seriousness others may have had or are currently going through. I share to be encouraging because we are all in need of that and don't deserve judgment. Do you have a story on these issues you'd like to share? I'd love to hear from you.

Don't let the negativity absorb you, rise above and be great.

Don't let the negativity absorb you, rise above and be great.